Weekend update
Consumed Food:
Ate food,loads of it and didnt throw up once.I think finally getting out of the first trimester is a good thing when it comes to less vomitting and more eating.
Movies watched:
Harry Potter
Lemoney Snickett
A love song for Bobby Long
Crash
Madagascar
Criminal
I think that all the kids movies I am watching are turning into research for a new idea I have.Cant quite reveal yet,still brewing in my head.Not ready to talk about it.
Worked out a schedule for myself so that I can get these photos shot, processed, printed, picked and framed and hung by Exhibition Day June 28th.Now if I can stick to the schedule I just might be able to pull it off. I never really work from schedules so this is all new for me and I am hoping that in the future it will help me focus and get projects done in a timely manner so I dont end up in panic mode the day before.
All emails have been collected and written out and shot for short and will soon be ready to show.Possibly at the exhibition if I can find a way to project on the walls. I would prefer that it not be at this place but I am curious to see a reaction.But it might be too loud and no one will hear the words written and spoken. Maybe I will do it in my backyard instead.
Friends over for BBQ, sorry to hear they are moving away but almost releaved for them as well. As they were quite unhappy and needed a change and I know they will be back adn until then I will collect their mail and send off care packages.I know what they're bout to go through with their family and it is good they will be able to concetrate on the book in such an amazing place whilst going through the family issues.
Speaking of friends, I have been going throuh some major house cleaning.Some might call this nesting as I have pretty much went room to room cleaning and getting rid of everything.Simplifying it all and organizing, creating files..so not me.I was going through boxes, letters, emails, notes, cards..Funny how those you thought would be your friends for lifetimes you find yourself less and less away from them.I guess this is all part of "growing up" for lack of a better phrase,it's sad but maybe it means you are truly only meant to have ceratin people in your life only at those times.The worst part is not growing apart but falling apart. when after years they tell you what they really think of you,when they say hurtful things and wrap it all up in a nice box with a bow and whisper it thinking the words wont sting you as much. It's a bit of a joke actually them thinking that you could still be friends. After hearing all those horrible things they say to you how they feel what they think.Then end it by saying that they just wanted to get past it all and move on to a new start to a better friendship.What gets me is that if I really am those things, I WOULDNT even want to be friends with me let alone have friends like that so NO there is no way we could be friends again. Cause you made it perfectly clear that I am the type of person you hate so much. It's almost ridiculous to even defend .Because they image they have of you is so distorted and wrong and well obvioulsy they turned something that wasnt about them into something about them that it makes it just not worth it to continue.Then you realize that life goes on and it is almost sad that you realize that their life too goes on and they dont miss you.Cause you miss them cause you never thought about them in the hurtful ways they thought about you.....anyway i am just babbling talking about things most likely that happened 12 years ago or last month or maybe last week.
The point is or was..I'm not sure..life goes on and sometimes you know who your real friends are and some friends are meant only to be your friends for a week or a month or never..who knows.
I do know this for as lonely as this city gets at times.I do find myself surrounded by a small group of friends that i think of as family and some of those people dont live here or near me but I know that I trust them and that they trust me and those are the type of friendships that do last a lifetime...wow all this gooey talk, I blame my hormones.
planning summer holiday trips to London, Mystic Port CT, Oregon and various other places all before i can no longer travel.
Time is ticking till I am out of the Velvet prison..for awhile anyway but who knows.
I dont have time to do a spell check so I am sure I will hear all about my grammer and spelling mistakes.Feel free to mock me again and again.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Hands Touching Hands
Last week I revisited my childhood, by accident of course.The memory triggers itself in the most obvious ways resulting in reminding you of all your gloriousness.
Example, when watching a TV show an actor that I haven't seen in a longtime is suddenly on the screen and I am brought back to age 11.Most know the story, this will be the first time to admit it in writing.
I am a product of the 80's and am not ashamed to say that most of my life lessons learned can be traced back to Molly Ringwald movies and various TV shows.What else does a child do, but watch nightly programs. I was to young to "get" Dynasty or Knots Landing, let alone stay up that late. On a good Night I was allowed to stay up late and watch The Young Ones.But mostly I grew up watching Family Ties, Different Strokes, Three's Company and a few others.But my most favorite night was Tuesday at 8:00pm.When the best show for any young girl was Facts of Life. Oh and indeed they were..You take the good,You take the bad,You take them both and there you have the facts of life..this was no joke to me. I related to Joe and dreamed of being Blair...*side note*..Molly Ringwald was on that show as well, hmm interesting.
By the time I reached 11 the new character Andy Moffet was introduced
(perhaps in a moment of jumping the shark) and I fell in love. My younger sister and I grew up writing fan letters, competing with each other who could get the most responses and autographs in return. I do cherish my CB BArnes photo , thank you! I was determined to get Mackenzie Astin's from Facts of Life, perhaps even marry him and have 4 kids and ranch where we raised goats.
My first letter to him was a bit shaky as I knew it would be the most important.I had to reach him to let him know just how much we were destined to be together.I read every page of my Tiger Beats and Teen Beats.Gathering all information I could on him the more i read the more i was convinced he was the one and if he only met me he would know this as well. I waited for the post everyday a month passed and obvioulsy the mail man had lost my first letter,i wrote again, waited..damn what was wrong with the postman and mail services.I wrote again and again and well again and for one year straight for each month I wrote him.I was about to give up when i sign happened.I had read that he was particpating in Hands Across America.This was my big chance if I ended up holding his hand we would meet.I mean yeah, he was in LA and I was in Utah but what's a few states between us. I delivered twice as many newspapers earned the money sent in the donation.A letter arrived stating where i should go on the big day...a mere 4 hour bus ride away.How was I too earn the money to take the bus ride, let alone slip away for that long without my mother knowing. Finally after much thinking I figured he was worth it all. I was to sell my bike to the neighborhood bully .Making up a story of thievery to my family as to where it went. I was lucky to have a mom that worked all day and nights most days. I bought my bus ticket, and landed in some strange city bus depot 4 hours later.Not one person questioning why a 12 year old was alone on a bus.Upon my arrival I had no idea where to go and had no money however i was wearing the most amazing stretch pants with tie dye shirt with huge hoop earings and matching belt cinched at the waist. I looked hot. Panic struck me and i did what ever little girl would do ...I sat at the bus station for 2 hours waiting for my return bus home, crying over my lost love of Mackenzie Astin, or as his friends and family call him, Mack!
Example, when watching a TV show an actor that I haven't seen in a longtime is suddenly on the screen and I am brought back to age 11.Most know the story, this will be the first time to admit it in writing.
I am a product of the 80's and am not ashamed to say that most of my life lessons learned can be traced back to Molly Ringwald movies and various TV shows.What else does a child do, but watch nightly programs. I was to young to "get" Dynasty or Knots Landing, let alone stay up that late. On a good Night I was allowed to stay up late and watch The Young Ones.But mostly I grew up watching Family Ties, Different Strokes, Three's Company and a few others.But my most favorite night was Tuesday at 8:00pm.When the best show for any young girl was Facts of Life. Oh and indeed they were..You take the good,You take the bad,You take them both and there you have the facts of life..this was no joke to me. I related to Joe and dreamed of being Blair...*side note*..Molly Ringwald was on that show as well, hmm interesting.
By the time I reached 11 the new character Andy Moffet was introduced
(perhaps in a moment of jumping the shark) and I fell in love. My younger sister and I grew up writing fan letters, competing with each other who could get the most responses and autographs in return. I do cherish my CB BArnes photo , thank you! I was determined to get Mackenzie Astin's from Facts of Life, perhaps even marry him and have 4 kids and ranch where we raised goats.
My first letter to him was a bit shaky as I knew it would be the most important.I had to reach him to let him know just how much we were destined to be together.I read every page of my Tiger Beats and Teen Beats.Gathering all information I could on him the more i read the more i was convinced he was the one and if he only met me he would know this as well. I waited for the post everyday a month passed and obvioulsy the mail man had lost my first letter,i wrote again, waited..damn what was wrong with the postman and mail services.I wrote again and again and well again and for one year straight for each month I wrote him.I was about to give up when i sign happened.I had read that he was particpating in Hands Across America.This was my big chance if I ended up holding his hand we would meet.I mean yeah, he was in LA and I was in Utah but what's a few states between us. I delivered twice as many newspapers earned the money sent in the donation.A letter arrived stating where i should go on the big day...a mere 4 hour bus ride away.How was I too earn the money to take the bus ride, let alone slip away for that long without my mother knowing. Finally after much thinking I figured he was worth it all. I was to sell my bike to the neighborhood bully .Making up a story of thievery to my family as to where it went. I was lucky to have a mom that worked all day and nights most days. I bought my bus ticket, and landed in some strange city bus depot 4 hours later.Not one person questioning why a 12 year old was alone on a bus.Upon my arrival I had no idea where to go and had no money however i was wearing the most amazing stretch pants with tie dye shirt with huge hoop earings and matching belt cinched at the waist. I looked hot. Panic struck me and i did what ever little girl would do ...I sat at the bus station for 2 hours waiting for my return bus home, crying over my lost love of Mackenzie Astin, or as his friends and family call him, Mack!
Monday, May 09, 2005
The More You Know
This week:
Georges Rousse I have been trying to explain to H. that this is what I wanted him to do last month but we never suceeded, we met half way though.If only I could have shown him this.He would have understood me.I am discovering most people find it difficult understand what i say regarding what i see.
Company Segundo,what a funny little man that someday would be really cool to see live.Until that day which better happen soon he's not getting any younger.I will listen on the ipod.
We thought you would be prettier, by Laurie whom I read her books cause she cracks me up for her honest writing about being an idiot, like myself.It's a quick read that usually ends up with me learning a few new words and laughing my ass off.I wouldnt normally recommend these books,dont want to ruin my rep yah know (ha ha it's a joke).But if your a geek girl like me you might find them amusing to read while soaking in a hot tub. I started the new one last night.
Trying to find a title for my new show. Why do all galleries need a title for the show before i have even shot the photos? This time i know what i will shoot but have no idea for the title/theme? By god next they will be asking me for an artist statment.Which I'm the worst at writing, I just find it hard to try and make me sound cool and smart all in one paragraph all the while making such an important statement about what I've done.
All title suggestions are welcome...email me please
Georges Rousse I have been trying to explain to H. that this is what I wanted him to do last month but we never suceeded, we met half way though.If only I could have shown him this.He would have understood me.I am discovering most people find it difficult understand what i say regarding what i see.
Company Segundo,what a funny little man that someday would be really cool to see live.Until that day which better happen soon he's not getting any younger.I will listen on the ipod.
We thought you would be prettier, by Laurie whom I read her books cause she cracks me up for her honest writing about being an idiot, like myself.It's a quick read that usually ends up with me learning a few new words and laughing my ass off.I wouldnt normally recommend these books,dont want to ruin my rep yah know (ha ha it's a joke).But if your a geek girl like me you might find them amusing to read while soaking in a hot tub. I started the new one last night.
Trying to find a title for my new show. Why do all galleries need a title for the show before i have even shot the photos? This time i know what i will shoot but have no idea for the title/theme? By god next they will be asking me for an artist statment.Which I'm the worst at writing, I just find it hard to try and make me sound cool and smart all in one paragraph all the while making such an important statement about what I've done.
All title suggestions are welcome...email me please
Break on Through
I am enjoying the late spring weather.The sun hiding behind the clouds till late afternoon.Waiting for me to come outside for my gardening and walk around the blocks. Letting H. sleep in the hammock all day with nothing but a book and beer to keep him company.
The rain clouds are about to hit so I thank the sun for lasting through my weekend, long enough for a party with friends.
I have broke through what is know as the creative block and am now focused and commited on my new photo show as well as a list of ideas to follow.It feels good to know that it was just indeed a block and not the end as i felt it was.Now I must get on with it and just hope the idea doesnt...well suck
Happy that there has been a new opening of a gallery in my hood, right down the street.Hoping this is a sign to what else might be popping up.First a farmers market and now a new gallery.
Saw photos from Harvests show in Portland.Did anyone go? Talk about comitment and focus, right there...God I hope to be around for her next one!
Feeling like all the violent vomitting has finally said goodbye to my body.
Another friend has had the horrible misfortune of a parent passing away from Cancer. To him I can say only words, sorry so so sorry.
The rain clouds are about to hit so I thank the sun for lasting through my weekend, long enough for a party with friends.
I have broke through what is know as the creative block and am now focused and commited on my new photo show as well as a list of ideas to follow.It feels good to know that it was just indeed a block and not the end as i felt it was.Now I must get on with it and just hope the idea doesnt...well suck
Happy that there has been a new opening of a gallery in my hood, right down the street.Hoping this is a sign to what else might be popping up.First a farmers market and now a new gallery.
Saw photos from Harvests show in Portland.Did anyone go? Talk about comitment and focus, right there...God I hope to be around for her next one!
Feeling like all the violent vomitting has finally said goodbye to my body.
Another friend has had the horrible misfortune of a parent passing away from Cancer. To him I can say only words, sorry so so sorry.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
See the Harvest
If you live in or near the greater Portland Oregon area.Please see tomorrow night May 5th this exhibition. The artist: Harvest has been working for a very long time and not only is she doing one show but two at the same time in two seperate galleries in the same compound I believe.So you wont have far to walk. Then report back to me as I will miss them both.
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