Till you fall down

It would make it easier to understand if there was someone to bame.
If there was someone to blame then we would at least have a "why?"
The truth is, there is no one to blame except him.He took the "why?"
with him and we all need to stop blaming our selfs and the possibilities of others.

a late self portrait and loose ends

Reading:
Steve Almond's Book
Watching:
Un Film de: Claude Lelouch
Les Miserables
I haven't seen this version.I hear it's one of the better versions.
Listening :
Does Your House Have Lions
I think everyone should own this album.
H. and I are learning how to play this exact one, we have a DVD we're supposed to be watching but I think we're heading down the self taught road.
Heading back into class everynight here.

The Who and What

I was asked to write a post about who I was?
I've done this before on this blog.I have also replied to all my friends emails with all those silly questions. Secretly, I love those.

I wish I could come up with some real deep,witty "who am I" answers.

So instead I will ramble these phrases off,in no particular order... I am:

funny,at least I think I am.
a mother
a wife
a best friend to a few people
a sister,daughter,auntie
i own two cats,Gooner and Oggie
i laugh at myself more then anyone else.
i am reading a magazine tonight
my fridge broke down today.so i had ice cream for dinner.
i am listening to Astrud Gilberto (which by the way was my second choice for a name for my daughter, Astrud)
i am drinking Glenlivet with one ice cube.
i take photos
i sing in the shower and car
i have bad grammar and spelling (my husband made me write this)
i don't sew or bake very well
i watch bad TV programs
i am digging this site
i feel uncomfortable around people who take it all so seriously.
I want to travel more,laugh more,have sneezing attacks,meet people, send mail,receive packages,sing happy birthday,go walking past 5 blocks,live in Italy and Paris, practice my French,learn piano and tap dancing,go to the theater more,Dog sledding in Alaska,picnic at the gravesite of Gene Kelly,give Mickey Rooney a cuddle,Sing a song of Sixpence,have a grand dinner with some friends,publish a childrens book,sleep till 8:00am and wake up every morning smiling cause i have a great inside joke.

So that about sums up me for now.So I hope that answers your questions.

I am ready to send out cameras to those who want to be included in my camera project for a show I have coming up (see I need your help post) If anyone wants in just let me know ASAP.Those who already showed interest ..thanks, I hope I don't shame myself.

My Favorite Answer so far

The question of the month was

Where does Humble end and Ego begin?

A little Sandwich Monkey had the Best answer so far and I quote...


The answer lies somewhere during the following conversation:

"I'm no good."
"No. You are very good."
"You're right. I'm great!"


What are your thoughts?

Watch This Space

This will be the start of a new personal project.
It is called
"Map of My Week"

I have a feeling it will take longer then a week though.
Maybe
"Map of My Month"

I have finally committed to an idea for
In Clover
An outdoor exhibition in Portland Aug.6,2006
Co-Organized by HH and SWI.SWI has grand plans and I am so glad he asked me to contribute.I was struggling with what to do and nervous about the company I would be included in.
I wanted to do a piece that blended in with the park setting.I hate sticking out in a crowd.I had a few ideas bouncing around and last night (or is it early morning)
at around 4am I made the choice and worked out how.Now I have to figure out the why? or do I?

It's back..

Question of the Month is back and soon to return image of the week? All feedback is welcome and wanted.
Any thoughts?

Where does Humble end and Ego begin?

I need You

I've been mulling ideas in my head for awhile regarding a project.I had an oppourtunity to "pitch" some of these mulling ideas to someone today while I was out and about.He perked up about a few and then committed me to one in particular. We even spit in our palms and shook hands.
From what I gather the exhibition is called "what's mine is yours".
The twist is the artist will need to get others to help with the work.I'm not explaining this very well,I know,I'm pretty horrible at explaining things.
Ok let me start this over. I'm doing a peice that involves photography, more in so others photos.
I had been mentioning to a few people how I would like to send out disposable cameras to random people and have them photograph their life,for a week.
So that is what I'm going to do, in a nutshell.
I'm asking for people to photograph a week in their lives. I will send you the camera with retrun postage.You shoot the roll, send it back and from there.I'm going to recreate your week. I wont reveal to much.I'm one of those people who actually doesnt like to talk about what I'm doing till it's done.
So,listen if you want to do this, drop me a comment with your email.I will email you back you can give me your address and when it's all done I'll let you know and I'll post pictures from the exhibition and final end result.
That's really all I can say for now.Sorry for being vague

Breakdown of a Clearing Mind

Reading:
Dhalgren
Four Plays
Paddington Bear.The runt is loving it and so am I. I had never read this before.I thought it would be a good "next book" after Winnie The Pooh.

Listening to:
Demos loads and loads of them.Someone sent me in the mail this cool mixed demo of Nirvana.It was brilliant,so raw and full of emmotion. I felt all the teen angst coming back.I quickly rummaged through old boxes and pulledout demotapes I had of, Blind Melon,Pearl Jam,Janes Addiction,Pavement,Sonic Youth and Smashing Pumpkins.That was all I could find but I'm sure I have more hidden away.I felt pretty cool.Then I walked up to my local coffee shop and there were these hip kids in there talking about bands. I perked up, thiking I could join in a conversation about music.I suddenly felt old when they started referring to bands I had never heard of in my life.Then mentioned how The Beastie Boys are classic. I then walked home listening to Faure Requium on my ipod.Realizing..this was real music.His Requium still makes me cry.It has to be one of teh most powerful pieces of music.I highly recommend you pick it up and just sit in a dark room and listen to the whole piece.It makes death Beautiful
Trust me and listen to it and then tell me what you think??

Movies I'm watching
The Beat that Skipped my Heart
Ok well actually I'm watching it tonight.
what I'm really looking forward to are these films.
Russian Dolls
An Inconvenient Truth
The Proposition
Little Miss Sunshine
and of course The Lake House.Yes, I am seeing it. I don't care what anyone thinks of me I like Sandy Bullock..I love her.
I saw this, everyone must see this.

I'm digging these flickers. I have yet to explore more images on Flcker.
I'm not a painter,or know how to draw.I like the idea of it.But the lack of obvious talents keeps me from persuing. Although happy mistakes and explorations from others may inspire me to just make a mess in my studio one day.

not checking for spelling mistakes tonight,sorry to lazy.

Copy Cat...Dirty Rat

I think that this is what I need to do for myself as well.I'm following suit....Jessica said below...

"in an effort to bring some order into my life, this will now become a weekly blog, with new posts arriving every sunday (or the occassional saturday or monday). i really really need to focus on work things right now, and unfortunately this blogosphere that i love is also capable of being one of my worst distractions. i'm hoping that putting myself on a schedule of some sort will help me more effectively manage my time."

I don't think I could have said it better which is why I am stealing her words
(hope you don't mind.I am giving you credit though)

So I think what I'll do is just post on Sundays, see how that goes for awhile.Build up things to say. That way I dont have to bore you all with writings about how one wipes their ass, standing or sitting?Yes,that was an actual conversation I had today. Sparked by an article read online. You don't even want to know...

I have a load of things to say but you'll have to wait till Sunday

Le Sigh

I'm taking a break for a few weeks.I have to work on a few projects and I find that I mostly type out words here on this blog that I never post. I have about 6 posts that I have just saved as drafts and told myself I would get back to them. When I do, I found that I have lost track of the thread. I'm in a place in the deep back of my head right now and it's boring to write about it.Everyone goes through it.
Hopefully it will clear up and be less...fuzzy in few weeks.Besides I'm not sure if this even gets read.I think after 3 years I've only gotten about 5 comments? Is that even normal? But do I write this for myself or do I write it for others? Something to think about I guess.I'll add it to the fuzziness.

Happy Moo Day To Me

So my birthday came and passed without much fan fare.
Oddly enough though,I really enjoyed it.
Just had a few friends over for a take out dinner.
It was nice to just sit and not have to cook, clean, entertain.
When you have friends that you can actually just sit around with in your PJ's and talk with.You realize just how boring "going out" can be at times.
I was more then thrilled with the company and conversation...bliss
Not to mention how grateful I was for all the thoughtful gifts.My friends truly know me and that is such a relief.Not having to "be someone" around them.They know me, get me and except me and all my quirks.
Also I baked my own cake.

Books and more books
Hand made cards and chocolates
Film and more film
Flowers
Concert Tickets
Movie Passes
Cd's
DVD
and most exciting Art. I love it when friends give me the gift of art they have created with their own hands.

Yesterday went around to a friends house for tea and cake and catching up. Saw her new series of drawings she is working on.My god, how amazing,huge pieces as well, taing up whole walls.Such details, without filling the whole space.I really don't like it when you see someone who works on such grand scales feels obligated or bliged to fill every inch of the canvas just cause it is there.
Yesterday looking at her work the amount of space filled was perfect fitting,just enough to tell you what is going on without ruining the idea.Such great colors and subtle theme through each piece all entertwining to form what is epic in a way.Viewed together or individual each stand on it's own merit. I can not wait to see them hanging in a gallery.

It was all very inspiring to the paint that when I got home I acually thought about maybe picking up a diferent tool. I've beentoying wih an idea in my head for some years now. A little too scared to try it. As I have never been much of an "artistic" person on the level of drawing, painting etc. I once took drawing class my freshman year of school, it toook me a whole semester to draw an hand holding an apple.I recieved a C, with the comment saying that a C grade was generous.

The difference between wanting and needing

I want a new digital camera
I want a deep tissue massage
I want new running shoes
I want a bike trailer for Gigi
I want Cassavetes dvd collecion
I want to sleep through the night
I want to figure out what I will be doing for "In Clover"
I want to finish up my Lucky Dip project,only 34 more to go
I want to buy this, Movie Theater

I need to clean my studio
I need curtains for my bathroom and bedroom
I need a new digital camera
I need to finish my website
I need to update my portfolio
I need to submit
I need to respond to the emails from the people at Cabinet
I need to drop off film
I need to learn to bake



blah blah blah

I would love to do some more swaps.I need curtains for my bathroom and bedrooms.I will swap with anyone,art,photos that is, for any cool handmade curtains.